Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Slumpy

Okay, so slumpy is a made-up word. But it's sort of how I'm feeling lately...and at least silly made up words make me feel less so.

After all of the excitement of having two real photography projects to work on (Serena's portrait session + my first wedding experience), I'm feeling a.) like I've been in a whirlwind for the past few weeks, b.) like I need to take time to make sense of it all and take stock of everything I've learned, c.) that a 24 hour nap should be in my future, and d.) ready for more...now.

I think I forgot to mention in my list of 25 Things that the number one thing I am not is patient. One time I told Ben that I could be patient if I got to choose which things I had to wait for. But I don't get to choose. And the things I want most are the slowest in getting here. Meh.

Compared to sharing those fun shoots, my life these days feels rather boring. I mean, I've hit the point now that because I've been so busy, I have to catch up on all the things that fell by the wayside while I focused on getting my dreams off the ground. Like cleaning the house, going grocery shopping, making appointments to take care of myself, sleep...and laundry. Oh the laundry. Let's just say I was about one day away from bathing suit bottoms. It was that bad, people.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade the last few experiences for the world, or washed and folded clothes for that matter. But creatively, I feel a little maxed out. The ambitious me wants to push myself to come up with something clever to capture and shoot because it's always when we feel that we're at the end of the rope that we surprise ourselves, but the human me is yelling to slow down and breathe for a day. Because breathing allows me to step back, take a moment away, and come back with a fresh perspective on where I am and where I'm going. And that impatience that I have...it's dying to know where I'm going, but doesn't want me to slow down and take any longer getting there.

So today I stepped back. And I scrapped the post that I had planned to make room for sharing the journey (don't worry, it will return for a later day). I hope you don't mind that I share this adventure from time to time, but for me it's all about keeping it real. Even though I feel like the only person I know who battles impatience and fights for balance, I try to remind myself that it's not just me. Other people feel this too (at least, that's what I've heard). And just like a picture captures a moment in time, this is my way of marking what the road looks like from here, because I want to remember where I've been.

At least it looks bright up ahead; I know that more exciting things are on the way...even if I have to make them happen on my own. Fortunately, now I'm heading into the rest of the journey with a suitcase full of clean clothes.

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