Sunday, July 24, 2011

Be Yourself.

This morning I attended underground yoga.

What is underground yoga you ask? Oh, it's not one that you've heard of because it doesn't have a yogi-sounding name? Nothing fancy's like secret yoga. Every Sunday, the local LuluLemon hosts a free yoga class outdoors in a different location around Annapolis and you have to be in on the secret to know about it. If you've never done yoga outdoors, I would highly recommend it. There is a peacefulness among the noise and a feeling of being grounded and free at the same time that I've never experienced from an indoor studio. It is beautiful.

Normally, I go through the class simply being in the moment and letting it be fleeting. But this morning, the instructor left me with a thought that resonated and reverberated inside my being long after the class was over.

"You can be anything you want as long as you be yourself."

And as I pondered it, I realized that it was an uncomfortable truth. And probably why I've stayed away from my blog for so long (although I would tell you that it was because life was crazy...and it was, but I've worked around that before). And why I'm stumped on wedding planning even though I've been looking forward to it forever.

I'm pretty comfortable with who I am when it comes to values and morality and all of those things that college forced me to grapple with. That all sounds easy now, even though it wasn't when I was figuring it out. My struggle now (actually, for a while) is defining who am I when it comes to what I like and how I represent myself visually. How do I show the virtual world my personality? My voice is not enough because it is not audible. For better or worse, our world asks us to reinvent the sensory experience through online media and we have to discover new ways of being and telling others about ourselves.

And truthfully, the only reason this is so difficult is because I'm making it so. If I would just stick to my day job where I am a representation of a larger brand and only have to have my own personality - the "invisible" part - and a desire to learn in order to succeed, this would not be a problem. But that's not the life I want for myself...I want to express myself in a creative, visual way too.

If I were smart, I would let go of this struggle and give it to someone who "brands" people for a living...a graphic designer, an interior decorator, a wedding planner. In fact, I find it easier to capture the essence of someone else than I do myself. But I love figuring it out on my own, challenging myself to learn and create. Obnoxious independent streak that I secretly love.

So this is what I will be doing in the coming weeks and months - identifying my creative self. There may be some changes around here...I'm planning to build a real website and maybe even make this blog a part of it. And I'd like to share some of my own wedding planning here too, if that's alright.

And since I need all the help I can get, I'd love to know what you use to define yourself. Is it your likes and dislikes, favorite movies, books, music, or obsessions? Or is there a specific style that gives you a framework you express yourself within? Anything at all...share it in the comments. I'd love to know and maybe we can help each other!

I'll leave you with this dose of cuteness for today, to lighten things up...

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